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It’s Monday April 20th and today I take Ziva in to get her fentynal patch put on.
Tomorrow is surgery day and I’m nervous as hell. Still having the ” am I doing the right thing” thoughts and change my mind about every 20 minutes.
I’m going to ask my Vet to check her lungs and possibly X-ray her left leg as well. She’s been licking that one and that was the first sign of the cancer on her right leg. Hopefully there won’t be any signs in either spot, this would be very bad.
Anyway I’ll keep this up to date and fingers crossed for the best result we could hope for.

Today I went to my shop and wrapped up anything I could or needed to so I can stay home next week with Ziva.
My shop is closed but had a couple small things to do.
Anyway called my Vet and asked a few questions and turns out she was glad I did. Dr Allen was just about to call me so I could get a fentynal patch prescription filled. So Monday we will go in and have the patch applied to Ziva in prep for her surgery on Tuesday. I think it was a 75 mg patch. (Ziva is 85lbs)
When I got home today Ziva was excited as always to see me and jumpe about a bit too much. I can tell her leg is really bothering her today. So I think we’ll just go sit down and watch so TV.
Now I’ve got Saturday, Sunday, and monday to get through.
While at my Vet, she reassured me I am doing the best thing for Ziva and after getting home today and seeing her limp about I know we’re doing the best thing we can for Ziva.

Now that I have the appointment made for Zivas amputation I’m freaking out.
Did I make the right decision, is this the best for her, holy crap she’s gonna loose her leg!!
It’s just a limp! Will she still love me? Ahhhggg.
I’m sure most of you that have been through this have thought the same thing. Do you feel better after the surgery and do you feel it was the right thing to do??
Tuesday is a long ways away I hope I don’t change my mind, or should I????
Ok I’m not gonna change my mind, just trying to add a little levity to this serious situation. I’m 90% sure this is the best course of action and the other 10% will come post op.
Anyway be prepared I’m bound to post some more meaningless dribble to make me feel better until Tuesday. Thanks for putting up with my stupidity lol.

Finally spoke with the specialist this morning. Not great news.
It’s gonna run $5-6k for the amputation and another $4-5k for the chemo/radiation therapy. OUCH
So right now some financial planning is in order.
I feel like I just got kicked in the nuts again. But I will do what ever I can for my girl.
With this pandemic we are locked down so my business is closed, I’m still paying my employee and now this. Good thing I have credit cards with zero balances. Looks like they are going to get some abuse lol.
Surgery will be Friday or Tuesday so I’ll keep you posted on that and hope for the best from here. Thanks for al the support you all have given. It’s the best thing going right now.

So it’s been five days since my world was crushed. Sleepless nights, looking over at my dog every time I hear a sound. Spoiling her more than ever.
Still no call from the oncologist?!? Crap trying to be patient, I’m sure they are busy and probably light staffed as well. I just hope the wait doesn’t have an adverse effect on Ziva.
Oh ya I forgot I figured out the picture thing so get ready for a bunch of those.
I hope everyone else’s Tripaws or soon to be Tripaws are doing well and all of you are staying safe.